You can keep them home

And by them, I mean those delicious little children of yours.

I have been putting off writing this post for a few months now - to find the right words because it's all so new for me too. The kind of words that translate with grace. The kind of words that might perhaps make a mom in a similar situation out there go “I can do this if it’s something I’d love more than anything right now”!

I’m talking about keeping a toddler at home. Or a child of any age.

I have an amazing “will-give-martha-stewart-a-run-for-her-money” friend who has had almost both kids at home with her until they were 3 and grew ready to explore the new and exciting things that playschool has to offer. She is gentle, kind and humble – she will be the first to admit not every day is rosey, but she handles it was such grace. My favourite days were the ones that I could pop in for a cup of coffee and just take in the all the love and warmth in her home. One day while working an office job, I was unable to get off work and I desperately needed Jesse (then 3) to have a caring place to go to for the day. Said friend happily accepts to have him over and for the next few hours, I received photos of the kinds of things that might have given me heart failure if roles were reversed. One included all three toddlers helping with the dishes on little stools, having fun with bubbles and water. The other - all three toddlers helping bake in the kitchen. Three delighted faces with spatulas and bowls, enthralled with helping bake delicious cupcakes, and knowing that they won’t be under pressure to “not mess in the kitchen” or “keep it in the bowl!”.  

I also have an incredibly talented friend (see: legend in every way) who home schools her beautiful daughter in a totally chilled way. All while her toddler potters around, loving his home life and exploring new people, sounds and tastes ranging from family trips to beautiful places or sometimes just the simple quiet play in the garden with the neighbour’s kids. She is generous and kind. Just by her little boy being around her, he will learn the things that cannot be taught at school. How to serve and love, and go the extra mile when others might look away. Her toddler is just a few months old than my Jack, who has just turned 3. 

I could list some many other wonderful examples of close friends that have opted at some point and time to keep their little ones or big ones close to home and slow down. To be completely honest, I have always looked from afar and thought “if only I was that kind of mom, I think I’d be so much happier” or “if only I was that chilled out and didn’t take everything so seriously!”

  (Jack's first day of pre-school)

I worked at a corporate job for just over a year that ended the middle of 2014. I had taken this job for personal health & financial reasons. The hardest part of it all had been choosing to leave Jack at playschool when he was only 8 months old. It was the right thing - and I don’t regret it - but it was still tough. The tears came fast and often, but I put on that power outfit on and just gave it my absolute best.

 

As with all working moms in 9-5 or 9-12 jobs, you start to depend on that playschool for your life! 3 days off compassionate leave when your child has had a snotty nose for two weeks and STILL can’t go back to school? If granny or auntie isn’t available on said day or week, it’s a cruel and difficult type of stress. In an effort to cope with the demands at hand – balancing work life with my home life – I did what most A-type personalities will do – and that’s to put it all in a box. Find structure and routines, and hopefully some sanity. The hamster wheel. 

I always hoped that one day I would be able to work from home again, kick aftercare to the curb and at least be with the boys from lunchtime on-wards.

My mother raised me to be an entrepreneur. It’s one of the greatest gifts she has given me - to teach me how to run my own business starting right from when I was a little girl. I remember vividly when I was 12 years old, my mom went away for a week on a church trip.  She left with me in charge of her home business, and my Dad simply did the driving. It felt completely natural to be in the driver’s seat of a business. 

Flash forward to Mom and I launching our own business together in June 2014. I had finally started working at home full time from about April 2014. Wouldn’t you think at this point, I’d be thinking – hey, I can finally keep that chubby-cheeked boy at home with me and make up for lost time?! The crazy thing is, I honestly thought that I wouldn’t be able to cope with him being at home while I was working. "I'm not like my mom friends who can." I had lost my confidence as a mother completely. Ask me what I really wanted? To be that mom that could keep him home.

We started planning our move to Pietermaritzburg at the beginning of 2015. I knew my 5 year old would join my husband at the incredible school he teaches at. It was perfect for him. I started looking for a pre-school to transition my then 2 ½ year old into. Family in the area were kind enough to send me lists of the best of the best playschools, and I started calling around. Please keep in mind that all this time I am working from home. Why was I in such a rush to get him in one school and straight into the next? I’d gotten so used to the normal baby -> pre-school -> big school routine, that I hadn’t given myself a chance to change that cycle, or at least delay it.

After calling a few places, I just could not shake the feeling that I was missing the big picture completely. When friends and family would ask about how our plans were coming along, they all seemed unphased that I hadn't found a school yet. “He can just stay at home with you though right?” I don’t know what finally did it, but the penny dropped. Not only was I going to take Jack out of school two months before we moved, but I was going to take BOTH out. I wanted to press the reset button on what had become normal for our family. 

The result? The first week was crazy. They’re everywhere! How will I cope? I have no space! I am cleaning all day! When do I get a break? How am I going to run this business? What was I thinking? The second week was calmer and easier, and by the third - my two boys would happily play for hours in the back yard or in their bedrooms while I tackled work and packing. There was no clock watching and snotty-nose monitoring. It was the strangest thing not to be stressed when they got sick! I was that mom who could keep her kids at home. It was liberating, and it brought untold joy and peace to my heart and our home.

The move to our new home was seamless. Two weeks after we settled, Jesse started at “big school.” And Jack? Well, I just never looked for that pre-school! I spent the last 6 months sharing a work space with the most loving and precious companion by my feet. I could watch him play in the dirt with his cars from my office window.Clint and Jesse head off at 7 after breakfast. Th at meant it was time for Jack and I to start the day with some quality time. Almost every day it involved cuddles and book reading on our stoep. Other days it was play dough / painting / puzzles. At 8 o’clock, I started working at my desk and Jack pottered around to his hearts content finding little spots to plonk and let his imagination run wild. At around 9 o’clock, it was snack time. Milo for Jack and coffee for mommy. We connected, chatted, sometimes went for a walk to the jungle gym in our complex – and then it was back to the office for me. Jack would get lost in his own world all over again and before we knew it – it was time for lunch and to pick up big brother. We popped down to Hillcrest about once a week so that he could catch up with little friends his age. We would visit the factory where my clothing range is made, and he managed just fine to stay by my side and win the hearts of all the seamstresses in the process!

I can say, and I know those who know me well can say, that this year is the happiest I have been in all 5 ½ years of motherhood. God knew. He knew this move was exactly what I needed to shake out the insecurities I didn’t even know I had. 

We prayed about what to do this year, and knew that Jesse’s school was opening up at RRR class. My business has really started to blossom and become more demanding on my time. Particularly in the month of November, I started to see that although I loved Jack being at home with me - he was going to need more attention that I would be able to give him. With family being further away, it was either an option of our seriously awesome housekeeper doing an extra day or two to help me, or enroll Jack in a sought after spot near his brother where he could play to his heart’s content. It was time. It’s madness to think he will be four years old in no time at all. 

I sobbed my heart out on Wednesday night before his first day on Thursday. A good, ugly cry. I cried from a place gratitude for the most beautiful opportunity to be a stay at home mom over the past year. To have been given a gift beyond measure. Yes, it’s a new chapter and letting go is tough, but I am learning that motherhood has a beautiful way of evolving, and with each new year comes something even more special that the last. I miss my big eyed boy in the mornings, but it’s different this time. He’s in school because it’s the best thing for him and not because “I’m not like those moms who keep their kids at home.” 

We broke the cycle and we’ve committed to staying open each year to see how God leads us as a family. It is without a doubt the very best plan. Maybe our kids will always be mainstream? Maybe we'll homeschool one day? Maybe we won't? 

To all the working-their-butt off in high heels moms, the stay-at-home moms, the home-schooling moms, the single moms, the work-from-home moms, the doing-whatever-you want moms - I wish you and your little ones the very best for 2016. We have the best job in the world!

My Mother, the Birthday Cake Maker

The best decision I ever made was to ask my Mom to please throw a cake together for my eldest, Jesse's, first birthday party. She is a fantastic baker whilst I border on average at best. 

This resulted in a totally over-the-top incredibly delicious home-made ice cream cake with a fondant figure of Jesse's favourite soft toy, Jerry. And by home-made ice-cream, I mean she made two or three different types of ice-cream and layered that together with crushed brownies and who knows what else. It was almost too good to watch little babies tucking into it - totally not kidding!

And so was born a tradition that I plan to hold to as long as possible. Are you reading this mom? No pressure. To honour my mom's cake-baking & making skills, here are a few of the delicious creations that she has whipped up since. The love, thought and time that goes into each cake amazes me every year. When you scroll down to the Bike Party Cake, it just has to be noted that aside from the actual bike, everything was made on her kitchen counter. Can you cope?

"And all that for what?" you might be thinking. For that look on their faces when "Nana" comes around the corner with that big ol' birthday cake that sums up a very big "I LOVE YOU". Thank you Mom for loving our boys like you do. Thank you for making memories they will never forget.

  

- Jesse's 2nd Birthday: Under-the-sea Theme Vanilla Sponge Cake -

 

 

- Jesse's 3rd Birthday: Thomas the Train Theme Chocolate Cake -

  

- Jack's 1st Birthday: Cars Theme Ice-cream Cake -

- Jesse's 4th Birthday: Planes Theme Vanilla Sponge Cake -

 

- Jesse's 5th Birthday: Bike Theme Coffee Cake -

 

- Jack's 3rd Birthday: Smartie Themed Chocolate Layer Cake - 

 

It's my turn on the 'Meet the Momma' series!

I had the pleasure of meeting Caley at a Durban Bloggers Dinner last year. Her blog, Ellie Love, is a constant source of inspiration and down-to-earth posts. What a gorgeous girl inside and out! Her latest 'Meet the Momma' series has to be my favourite so far. Thank you Caley for helping us discover and connect to the wonderful women out there in the blogging world. If you are reading this and you've recently been featured in this series, I am so pleased to meet you. I am definitely stalking you on Instagram already! 

Head over to Ellie Love today to find out a little more about what makes me tick as a mom. Oh and fun fact, I share my birth stories for the first time online.

Enjoy! x

Durban Hot Spot: Mitchell Park Zoo

My mom has always given rave reviews over a little gem of a place where she often takes my boys - Mitchell Park Zoo. On one our many glorious public holidays last month, we decided it would be a great time to try it out for ourselves. We loved it! At R10 entrance for adults & R7 for kids, it's a fantastic budget-friendly outing. After a lovely walk around, we enjoyed a cup of coffee at the Blue Zoo Cafe & Tea Garden situated right next to the park. Perfect for parents to chat while the kids play on the jungle gyms. Overall, a recommended outing! For more details, you can visit their page here.

Frame your toddler's work of Art

It's officially the end of the school term for Jesse + Jack Kyle. Hooray - bring on the holidays!

The first step towards getting into the holiday mode in our house is clearing away anything that represents routine. This includes unpacking / packing away school bags and giving fabric lunch boxes, shoes, hats a really good clean. I also have a hanging wall display in Jesse's room for the boy's favourite pieces of artwork that they bring home each week. I plan to pack the existing art away and replace it with holiday crafts that we will do together.

While I was sorting through Jack's backpack on Friday, I found a stack of artwork that his teacher sent home. It's a tradition in our house that anything that is brought home - great or small - is given our attention and appreciation. We sat Jack down and went through each picture with him, often needing his help to decipher what we were actually looking at!

Clint and I fell in love with two black / white paintings that he had made using stamps and rollers. So much so, that we decided they had to be framed and hung up in our dining room as abstract art. I have a feeling there might be a few readers rolling their eyes right now, but we really think they are fabulous! I'm proud to have Jack's 'masterpieces' on display and they warm my heart every time I walk past that stretch of wall. Come on, it's a little chic!

I keep meaning to write a post on the creative ways that we enjoy, store and display the rest of the art that comes home. If you have a little one in school, you will know the copious amounts that one gets each term! I will try to share some of my ideas soon. I'd love to hear yours too.

Kid's Party Planning Tips

I chatted briefly about birthdays in the Kyle household, and how a certain special boy turned TWO. I promised you a few party planning tips, so here we go!

Choosing a theme for this party was a no-brainer. Jack fell in love with 'Psalty' from the moment he could sit in front of a DVD. Yes, he's that big blue book some of you might remember! I love that my boys are listening to simple kids praise that I grew up with as a little girl. He particularly loves 'Charity Churchmouse' and has memorized many of the songs with his precious limited vocabulary.

 

TIP #1: Homemade cupcake toppers

Don't limit yourself to the themes you can only find in the Party shops. Using any editing program that you are familiar with, it won't take you long to put together a simple design for some adorable cupcake toppers. I printed a set of two graphics for each topper. I then cut out blue cardstock into the shape of a circle. I grabbed ordinary toothpicks from my kitchen and taped each to the blue cardstock. I glued a graphic on either side, and ta da! 

TIP #2: Plate it!

If you are only entertaining a small number of kids, you might find that making up a plate of eats for each child will be a lot more cost-effective. It will also give you more creative freedom & portion control. I've done this trick twice now and I can tell you that each time, the moms attending the party have been so grateful that there wasn't an unlimited supply of sweets & treats their little person could consume. I think it also makes them special to find their very own plate set out with their own little chair to sit on.

 

TIP #3: A little sweet, a little healthy

I try my best to include some healthier options on the table to fill up on. For example, you can make fruit look more appealing to tiny fingers by using cupcake wrappers as containers. My mom and I cut up strawberries & apples and also included a serving of yogurt. Mom had the genius inspiration to buy sturdier polka dot cupcake wrappers for our teddy biscuits and an assortment of little sweeties. Add a cupcake and that's a party! 

TIP #4: Cardboard cupcake stand

Visit any plastic shop or even Mr Price Home and you will be able to pick up a sturdy cardboard cupcake stand in a variety of patterns and colours. Easy to wipe clean and pack away for the next function without breaking the bank. I bought mine for R38.

I hope you've enjoyed my party planning tips. I'd love to hear from you: what advice do you have when it comes to planning your little one's party?

Let's talk kid's parties!

Whoever thought that having two boys a-month-and-a-half a part in birthdays was a good idea?! It's just slightly too much time in between to share a party, but close enough that it feels like birthday celebrations last for two months. Two birthday rings, two actual birthdays and then two actual parties. Not to mention we were on 'Baker Baker' at school twice in that time frame too! Phew! We might have to rethink a few things as they get older.

I have had the joy of celebrating a total of six parties with my little treasures. We started off BIG - invited all family & half our church - until I slowly realized I was putting immense pressure on myself to throw 'the perfect party'. That's the other side of the coin with being a creative & crafty Mom. Sometimes it's hard to know when to stop. I don't remember much of Jesse's first party. It whizzed by in a blur with me running circles around the party food and activities. 

(Jesse's 1st Birthday)

From that day on, we decided to make a few rules of our own about party planning:

(1) We will never do anything as a result of pressure from what other families might be doing or what other school friends have on their special day. There is nothing wrong with a big beautiful bash, but we will do what comes naturally for us each time and within our budget. That includes presents.

(2) We will ENJOY the special day together and if that means guests don't get a second round of freshly squeezed lemonade, then so be it! We will work hard and set up right until the party starts and from that moment on it's time to make a cup of tea & watch our boys laugh and tumble in the grass. We so appreciate the families that take the time to join us that we'd far rather enjoy the company too.

(3) We want to make sure that we have time to stop and be thankful for each year we are given with our sweet blessings. This year before we blew out Jesse's four big candles, we prayed altogether and gave thanks to God for our beautiful healthy boy.

(4) We will invite the friends / cousins that are closest in age and friendship to the boys. We will make an effort to see any other special friends / 'mommy's friends' at play dates and the likes. 

(5) We will be completely flexible with each year that approaches. Big party, small party, indoors, outdoors, even no party! As the boys grow older maybe we'd rather take them somewhere special with a friend and spoil them to bits. We will just have to see as we go. 

For Jack's 2nd party, I had started collecting all the little bits and bobs to put out on the table, made the cupcake toppers - and then we hit a crazy week. Instead of stressing, I asked my mom to help and she actually ended up hosting the party for us! It was PERFECT. Four years ago I would have pushed myself beyond my limit unecessarily. The bottom line is that I LOVE treating my kids to a fun day and I LOVE all the DIY that goes along with it. Just, all in moderation and it must feel right. 

Speaking of Jack's most recent party - more pics to follow soon (and tips on how to decorate on a budget), but here is a sneak peek!  What are your thoughts on birthday parties?

Pretty Printables: Kiddies Holiday Activity Book

This is the first year that I have needed to work while my boys are home on holiday and it got me thinking about some fun ideas to keep my older, nearly 4 year old busy boy occupied. I decided to make an A5 size bound activity book that I can then keep as a memory record after he's coloured his way through. This is what I came up with:

First, the cover page:

Next, I searched online and found a number of great dot-to-dots from Turtle Diary that my son is into at the moment, and printed an assortment of them, eg:

The next step was the most time-consuming because the process became completely addictive. I used Coloring Page Creator to turn a few family photos into our very own colouring-in pages. Like so:

And lastly, I created a few interactive pages prompting him to draw his favourite items / family members, eg:

The trick is to assemble them all in an interesting order. I also included a few sticker pages and pieces of cardstock cut-offs I had in my craft file. I loved making this so much I am thinking of making a few more to give out as prezzies.

Please feel free to download any of the above files by clicking on the respective pictures to download the rest of the files in it's group. 

Happy printing!